Chasing Greener Grass: A Reflective Look at Desire, Doubt, and Discontent

There are moments in life when we catch ourselves wondering if things might be better somewhere else. You might be questioning whether to leave a relationship, change careers, move abroad, or even consider divorce - all examples of a major life transition that can feel both exciting and unsettling. It is natural to imagine that happiness lies just beyond the horizon, especially when what we have feels difficult, heavy or unfulfilling. I often meet clients who feel comfortable with the life they have, yet something still feels “off.” As Anaïs Nin wrote, we don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.

Even where the grass is greener, it still needs watering and care. Change can be both freeing and deceiving. A new job, a new relationship, or a move to a new country will bring its own challenges. What we are often drawn to is an idealised version of life on the other side. The mind tends to fill in the unknown with promise.

One way to explore what is really driving your restlessness is to pause and reflect. Journaling can help you notice patterns, clarify feelings, and uncover what you truly need. You might notice thoughts such as, “What am I hoping will be different?” “What pain am I trying to avoid?” “Which of my needs feel unmet in my current situation?”

There are times when change is necessary. If you have made genuine efforts to improve things and still find yourself feeling diminished or deeply misaligned with who you are, it may be time to move on. Making that decision can feel scary, but change that comes from self-awareness often opens the door to a more authentic life.

In my work, I often meet people who come to counselling just before or just after a big life change. What we often discover is that the moment of clarity is not about the new situation at all, but about a shift in how they relate to themselves. The work we do in counselling is not about changing the scenery, but tending to the soil beneath our feet.

There is no perfect choice at life’s crossroads. Every decision carries both loss and possibility. The grass grows greener where you choose to tend it, whether in the life you already have or the one you are moving toward. Choosing to stay and nurture what you have, or to move on and begin again, is an important life decision best made from awareness rather than impulse.

So, if you are feeling torn about a big decision or noticing a persistent urge for change, counselling can be a helpful space to slow down and explore what is really driving that feeling. Together, we can explore whether your longing for something different reflects a genuine need for growth or a wish to move away from discomfort.

If you are curious whether counselling might help, please get in touch and book a session to explore what support might look like for you.